


Just enough.

by yuzurusjorts



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: RYUSEITAI mentioned, Warning for mental illnesses mentions i suppose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 13:23:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9387086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuzurusjorts/pseuds/yuzurusjorts
Summary: Midori thinks about what has changed since he entered Yumenosaki.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is a little study on Midori's character and his personality. It's very short, forgive me, it's 5am and I can't stop crying.

Practice had just ended and Midori was the only one left in the room, he was still packing his stuff, due to doing it really slowly. The first one to leave was Shinobu, who claimed he had a special meeting of the ninja club he had to attend to, Midori knew it wasn't really true and the other boy was just using it as an excuse to leave early so he could go home feed his pet frogs, of course the short boy had mentioned earlier how he forgot to feed the amphibians this morning. The second one was Kanata, and Midori knew that by now the blue haired boy would be swimming in the fountain. And lastly, Tetora and Chiaki, who left together after Midori said there were no need for them to wait for him, and that he'd be done soon. 

"RYUSEITAI, hum...."

Midori looked at his green outfit. Normally, they'd practice in their practice uniforms, but Chiaki insisted it was a special day and they all had to wear they stage outfits. He caressed the jacket and wondered what material it was made of. He couldn't tell, but he never knew much about these stuff, nor did he have any interest in sewing or clothes-making, so of course he wouldn't know. He pulled the zipper up, closing his bag as he finished inserting the boots inside. It was just now that Midori realized how tired he really was, practice was always tiring, but if what Chiaki meant by 'special day' was that they'd work twice as much as they usually did, then he was absolutely correct, that was a special day. They had done all kinds of stuff, jumping, running, Chiaki even tried to do a backflip, but it didn't work and he ended up falling on his back. In the end he was okay, though, and was able to proceed with practice with no problems. Yeah, they had done all kinds of stuff..... but the thing they did the less was practice actual dancing.

"If we don't practice for real then isn't all this just a waste of time?" Midori sighed, opening the door and walking off the room. The hallways were empty. "Alone." he muttered.

Walking, thoughts started to form in his mind. RYUSEITAI was important to him, both the place he had in the unit and the members, they could be annoying sometimes, but they all were special in their own ways. He could say he was glad he joined the idol course, even if it was an accident, it brought him good experiences, and friends he was sure would never leave him hanging. Joining Yumenosaki, too, was a good thing, seeing everyone giving their best to reach their goals was inspiring, in a way. Yet, he couldn't relate well to this all, he wasn't a hard worker, he wasn't good with people, and he didn't want attention- no, in fact, he avoided it. Although something inside him kept saying Yumenosaki wasn't the place for someone like him, there were also something holding Midori back from dropping the course. Maybe his friends? Or the feeling that giving up would only bring him more sorrow? 

"This sure is weird... if I don't enjoy something, I should just stop, isn't it..?" But did he not enjoy it? He couldn't say he hated it, despite all the complaining he really didn't hate studying at Yumenosaki and being a part of RYUSEITAI. He had mixed feelings, something between enjoying it and thinking it's a bother; an ordinary life in a normal school would be way more peaceful and people there wouldn't expect as much of him, but at the same time it would be too... monotone? Less fun? That seemed to be the most correct answer, Midori feared changes and new experiences, but this once, for the first time in his life, he was starting to feel like it wasn't so bad. Not that he would announce it out loud, or change his personality, but he knew he quite enjoyed this feeling. It felt like, after 15 years of living in the darkness, he could see a glimpse of sunlight coming from behind the curtain.

"Hah.." he quietly laughed to himself. Feeling sad, tired, lonely; those were feelings Midori knew very well, and although he wished he didn't, there was no denying they were part of him now. But feeling genuinely happy was new... and it was good. And it was all thanks to RYUSEITAI and everyone else at Yumenosaki, that he was able to experience this exotic feeling. All the people who have kept him company and showed him that life can surely be bright, these people were the reason he was able to smile now, even if for a brief moment.

Midori knew, he doubted he would ever get over his depression, his anxiety or his non existent sense of self worth, but these were far from being the only feelings inside him. It was hard for him to express his feelings or to express himself in general, so he just didn't bother trying most of times, and it always leads people to misunderstand him, but it's okay, he's used to it at this point. Being around so many people, attracting so many attention, that was by far the part he disliked the most, not even the dancing and singing made him so uncomfortable, having all eyes on him was so pressuring. He wasn't special... not in the slightest, and he was going to mess up at some point, and then he would just be a disappointment to everyone. Yet, everyone still believed in him. What was it that made people take such a liking to him, he wondered?

"Maybe I will never know huh..." He had finally reached the exit gates, he did it, one more day that he was able to get through. A tiny smile formed on his face, hand holding his bag tight, head focused now on remembering the way back home.

It's okay, it's okay to not know. For now, having his friends by his side is all Midori needs to keep going.


End file.
